I believe in them. In parenting, I think they are essential. If you fail to uphold a responsibilty or make a bad choice, you must face the consequences.
When meeting with the big kid's teacher about what to expect in 1st grade, one point that was clearly driven was they would be expected to become more independent....they would be responsible for writing down homework assignments in their homework folder and they would be responsible for loading that folder into their backpack along with their lunch box and snack bag. I'll be honest, my alarms were going off because I knew this was going to be a challenge for my duo.
And, it has been. There have been many days that one has forgotten their lunchbox, parts of their uniform, and now one of them has forgotten their homework folder twice. The first time I gave a warning and made a copy so they would be able to complete the assignment.
The second time happened today and I feel we must go big here to make a statement....If you forget your homework folder, you will get a zero and sit down during recess to complete the work (this is the class rule, not mine).
The fact is, we are trying to raise these children with the plan that they will leave our home with the skills and morals to do good in the world and in their spiritual life. At the same time, I have a tendency to want to keep the peace and keep everyone happy, because it's easier that way isn't it?
Easier, in the short term but not in the master plan.
After talking it over with my husband, we feel like this is the only way to drive home the importance of upholding responsibilities. But it's hard.
This child gets very upset when "punished" and doesn't want to disappoint. Through tears and worries for what the teacher will say, I had to stand my ground.
I couldn't help but think this issue is probably going to seem very insignificant compared to other challenges we are likely to face in these growing up years, but here's hoping they will be teenagers who can keep up with their homework!
3 comments:
wow, this post really hit home with me as this is what we are dealing with in our house currently. the big kids have forgotten lunches, homework folders, coats and gym shoes. I feel compelled to help and "fix" the issue to ease the chaos and upset. However, I have decided along with you that we need to step back a bit...not let go, just step back and let them fail to learn. It is hard I know!!
I'm not a mom, but I still wanted to say kudos to you!
I mentor a group of high school girls and it makes me sick to my stomach when I see their parents coming to their "rescue" every single time. I know it's not fun to see those you love mess up, because it breaks my heart too...but It only trains them to rely on someone else their entire life.
It may seem simple, but a forgotten homework assignment isn't the end of the world, and in the end, your little ones are learning valuable lessons that they can apply to much bigger things.
I can only hope that if I ever have kids of my own I will remember to do exactly what you're doing.
Mom of the fab 4- It is great to know we aren't the only one dealing with this!
Lindsey- your sweet message made my day- I too have seen those teens (and beyond) which is a huge part of the reason I want to nip this...I have a feeling that when you are a mom you will do much better!
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